A parent’s guide for managing exam stress – tips from The Priory Group

June 7, 2018

• Advice for Parents

Children can feel under immense pressure during exam season. While some stress is normal and can help their ‘fight or flight’ response to take hold so they feel motivated to perform well, constant stress that feels unrelenting can be damaging not only to their exam performance, but also to their health and wellbeing.

Fortunately there are ways you can help to manage their stress. Dr Hayley van Zwanenberg, a Consultant Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist at Priory Group, has listed several ways in which you can support your child so they can navigate through exam season successfully.

Be present and listen

While your child may want to stay in their room and revise, it is important that you take the time to talk to them. Encourage them to go for a walk or drive with you during a revision break so that you can chat to them away from distractions.

Ask them how they are feeling. Let them know that it’s perfectly normal to feel angry, anxious, worried or sad from time to time. If they tell you they think they’re going to fail spectacularly, remind them of all the hard work they have put in to challenge these irrational thoughts. If they are worried about upcoming results, talk through the different paths that are open to them so that they know that there are always options and a future.  

Let them know you are always here to talk whenever they want to. You can also be proactive; you don’t have to wait for them to come to you. Go for a nightly walk together or go for a drive to your local shops every few days to encourage more conversations.

Help them recognise stress symptoms

Exam season may be the most stressful time of your child’s life so far, and they may think that feeling intense nerves is part and parcel of the period.

Make sure they’re aware of the warning signs of stress so that they don’t simply ignore symptoms and plough on with their revision regardless. Are they getting more headaches than usual? Have they had an upset stomach? Is their heart beating quicker than usual? Are they having trouble sleeping? Let them know that you can help to tackle these warning signs rather than letting them snowball.

Help them maintain a healthy routine

If your child is putting pressure on themselves to revise all the time, remind them that this can be detrimental.  Encourage them to plan in regular breaks, so they can relax and give their brain a rest.

Stress can also cause a person to have difficulty sleeping, which is turn can impact their learning and memory. Encourage your child to maintain a healthy sleep routine with the following steps:

1. Get them to book in 20 minutes of outdoor exercise a day
2. Limit their screen time in the hours before bed
3. Make sure that devices aren’t kept in the bedroom when they are trying to sleep
4. Request that they revise outside of their bedroom

You may also find that stress affects their appetite. Plan your child’s meals and snacks around much-needed revision breaks. If they feel too stressed to eat, encourage them to do an activity they enjoy, then see if they would like something to eat after the distraction. Also keep healthy snacks to hand in case they feel peckish.

Distract and divert

If your child’s stress becomes intense, there are strategies you can teach them to help distract and divert their attention away from their worries.

Get them to visualise their nerves. Then get them to build a metaphorical wall between themselves and these stresses, where they place brick by brick to create the barrier. You can also get them to think of their favourite relaxing memory. Ask them to tell you what they see, hear, smell and feel. Encourage them to go back to this place whenever they feel too stressed.

If your child’s anxiety does not seem to improve, and seems outside the normal range in severity or length, look to get help via your GP. They will be able to offer advice on the steps you can take and help you get access to any further help and support that is available.